Tribal Journal ~~writing from the Tribal mind ~~

The Tribal Journal ...dated writing from the tribal vision
	Page 1.....{journal reads from newest entry to oldest}...... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6/2/2006 Be the Change. But where do I start? Complaints, unfulfilled, wanting, yearning, change. Community for my daughters and my sisters, adulterated by look-sees, sheep, dress-up witches, predators. "Sure, I'm a High Priest/Priestess, but how do you draw down the moon again?" "Yes, I want to work together, but only if the esbat falls on a Saturday afternoon." Spiritual adolescence, needs guidance, but am I the One? Goddess I hope not, but I wait and wait and no one comes, no one worth following. Be the Change. Becoming. Find a way to get what I need by giving to others. Connect to those worth connecting to, leave the others to their games and gossip. Starvation, brought on by apathy. Put my toes in the dirt and the stars in my eyes. Try again And Wait for Change Hera ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6/8/2005 Ancient dendritis littering the forest floor. Needles padding the ground in a soft, sleek, dusty, slippery carpet. Dank & musty. Rocking slowly in the wind a primeval wind breezing the catwalk. Rickety in spots but mainly supportive. A small cabin. Planks, dried wood. She lumbers around the lofty catwalks of her old growth forest home protecting the primitive and standing watch over the sacred. There is life below her, she sees the bobcat climb her tree, but is unfettered. He is her wild brother and she gathers strength from his tenacity all the while aware of the call of the wild, but not its victim. She is evolved. She is of a higher order. She can focus & she will. Carrie ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4/10/2005 Yesterdays teachings, we carry today are for those of tommorrows next generation comming to. May we all carry with good hearts and open minds that we are of one higher power making us therefore all related, no matter of our background heritage we are so proudly of, and willing to share openly. STONE SKY MAN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 8/22/2004 Hello there, my lovely, and how are you this evening? You have wandered into my den, my darkness. You have found the place inside that makes babies scream and adults shie away in fear. Ah, but you have nothing to fear, my lovely. I have been expecting you, as I expect all The Mother's children. This place is a place you will not be for long, for you will see it inside. Every now and then the darkness always surfaces, always draws someone new to me. I am the side that you do not want to know, the side that is irrational, unbalanced... ....feared. I am the side that is born in every one of you, the hidden side that only comes out to play when you are back into a corner. The side far past anger, past all hate, all forms of passion, I am the side that knows only destruction, that knows only how to do things beyond our ideas of hurt and pain. Ah, I see you tremble, do not fear, everyone must visit this place once in their lifetime. Everyone must know how deep the darkness goes. You just happened to find it a bit earlier than most. Wait... where are you going?... you cannot out run me... you cannot leave me... I am inside you... I am you... Nicolletta McKinzi ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 8/16/2004 I COULD FLY.... A totem tale I would just spread my wings and up I went, if I was scared or being chased, I just lifted off... My Fairy friends would guide me to safety with their pretty sparkly wings shimmering in the dark. But only if I was outside... The doors of my babyhood were always unlocked, so when the Dark One came for me I just ran... through my room, down the stairs, past the kitchen table, out the door... and up, up to safety. Sometimes she was so close... She would jump up after me, her claws extended, great dark paws waving through the air, and looking down, I would see her crash back to earth as I lifted myself up out of range. My Fairy friends would laugh at her, pointing and giggling. Awakened by the early morning birdsong I would trudge downstairs to the kitchen dropping 'jammies' wherever I was able to get them off... Naked, in the dawn I foraged the cupboards and refrigerator for sustenance. Well nothing here-ahh out the door and down the block was my friends house... always crackers and jam there. Until her mom caught me foraging her kitchen one morning. Then my parents put the funny looking key in the little hole beneath the doorknob. I watched them and took note. Well the next morning... no problem, just turn the key and... freedom. Hmm... now there would be more effort to secure the doors, the deadbolt was put on, up too high for my little arms to reach. My mommy taught me how to turn on the television and morning cartoons hosted by 'Casey Jones' would be my entertainment till my parents were awake... My active mind began to numb... They didn't know about the Dark One and I hadn't seen her for awhile so I forgot... Then one night, very late she came for me... I could see her glowing eyes in my darkened room... I jumped out of bed and ran fast... fast as my short little legs would go... through my room... down the stairs... I could feel her hot breath on my neck, my heart thumping, faster I ran... through the living room to the darkened kitchen, past the table to the door... oh no!!! The deadbolt!!! Terrified, I turned to face her as she bounded after me from the living room I thought my heart would stop... She lunged... and POOF! She was gone... Having been claimed by the Dark Lioness I have never flown again... Earthbound, I am strong, proud, and free! Goldendove Lioness ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6-9-2004 Some of you are aware the my Mom just died and some may be just hearing. This tumbled from my heart (with a little work) driving home from the funeral. It seems that the times that words flow from my Soul are in the midst of pain. Thanks to all of you for your support and I am coping very well with this. Mar Freeman Shadow Trudging Deep in the Dark Casts no Shadow Stumbling, Fumbling Fear of Tumbling, Ill from Rumbling, Sick of Fumbling! Another Hope to change the Path To quell the wrath Emerging from the Deep Too steep I sleep I seem to dream A stream of Light Of sight I just might take flight To the Sun Too bright I am blinded, Single-minded Each step is fear, A mirror No Way to steer I Silent scream Within my dream Guide me, deride me Hide me Hear me, Steer me No reply So I die Alone I return, to churn To burn The Sun at my back Casts my shadow What do I see? Me I must flee Or just be. Simply Me. Mesmerized, Terrorized Horrified, Glorified Each step, I trace Embrace Turn my Face To the Sun Am One I reach inside and Fix my stride Each Step I forge ahead No longer Dead My shadow behind To ease my mind. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ April 23rd YOU try to get through Grad School when you've got a head full of snakes. Really -- when you're a Gorgon Goddess, it makes things a little difficult when you have to be a professional. I've tried it; you know, tucking the snakes under a scarf, wearing hats. Somehow, they always slip out. And no matter how hard you try to avoid eye contact, you still end up turning someone to stone. At times it comes in handy... I haven't gotten hassled by jerks on the street for months. The last punk who tried to follow me into a dark alley thinking he was out to conquer came face to face with all my glory: As I reeled in delight with the sound of serpents hissing and buzzing around my head, he froze in his tracks in SHEER TERROR.... then he paled, cystallized, and cracked, an urban statue, courtesy of yours truly. It was just as fun to give the stony bastard one swift kick and watch him hit the ground and shatter into gravel. More often than not, though, it's tiring. Those endless piles of reading and articles and books... when I want instead to run screaming into the wilderness, barefoot, snakes - a - flyin' under the moon. I long to speak with spirits and to remember -- viscerally, REALLY -- who and what I am. Fearless and fearful, beautiful and terrifying. There will be time for that, when I see my wild Pagan family, my tribe, this Summer... In the meantime, I'll tuck up the snakes and.... EAT THIS BOOK!!! sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss......................... Kisses of Medusa, Murphy in Milwaukee ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ April 4th post fool's day... Shadow Self, scary topic eh? The more I experience Magic, the more in touch I get with all of the scary stuff. You start trusting your intuition, you see how things will likely go. Experiencing the Shadow Self, I think you sense when what you are doing isn't right, will lead down the wrong path, and cause you problems. You may cloak yourself in the Shadow's protective comfort sometimes, welcoming old destructive habits, and getting a perverse sense of nurturance from that. The Shadow Self is what we have to work with in life. It is the raw material in our psyche that we haven't made whole yet. It is our personal task list, those things that keep us from our really well deserved budda-like existence. In a way your whole life is defined by if, why, when, and how well we face our Shadow Selves. After a while the reflection gets to be a pretty familiar site so we don't even recognize it. Then just when we think we are now perfect, … Wham, …it slaps you in the face again. Just don't tire of looking at it. That is what magik is for I think, to keep you taking a fresh look at the Shadow, and to help give you the will to never stop....and what's with this fools day? ...it ought to be when we are most in touch with our inner child...not our shadow. Blessings, Nels ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Feb 29th...Leap year My name is Seven Whitewolf, and I do not say much, But I read everything I can. Today my mate and I were setting at the table having breakfast when I looked out the window. There was a man in a white fishermans hat, white wind breaker and jeans. He just looked at me for a few seconds, then disappeared. There is no one on either side of the family that looks like that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Within my heart within my soul within within within mark the music of the cosmos sweet the oceans sound Dark the spaces or in black caves walk the most innerbound Quests are made most everyday and travelled in most everyway Walking alone or together in ritual or solemn vow Within Within Within the drummers sounds the dancers begin the seekers sit round We cannot go that way We cannot But always we must searching for the moments when touched by magic sets us free within within within 2/24/04 Jean Laughing Eagle ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Julie - 2/23/04 I was recently asked if the theme of this years festival is okay for children. How can we make this an easier topic for children and the adults who have to explain things when they ask those hard questions. So here is my answer. Children already know about their shadow self and they are not afraid. They learn to be afraid of their feelings and of themselves from the adults and society around them. Children will come right out and tell you how it is with them. Usually in the most inappropriate place possible. They will tell you when they are afraid. They will tell you when they hurt. Their shadows are right out where everyone can see them. And what is sad is that as children mature you can see them slowly take those fears and hurts right down inside. Tweens stop sharing as much and by the teen years you don't hear a word. So is it appropriate for us to explore our fears and our inner darkness with children? I say yes, because it teaches our children that these things are ok and healthy to bring out into the light. Do we want to be all depressing and dwell on what ever our shadow self might be? Do we want to share specific knowledge? Probably not. Some issues are for adults to deal with. But we don't need to hide the shadow self from our children. They know its there. They just choose to keep it in the open. So I say use your own judgment as a parent or friend. But don't be afraid. The kids aren't. If you have any ideas for rituals or activities for children involving this theme just let us know. We would love to involve you and your family... Julie ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Night Hunt It's night. The moon is full, her light filtering through the canopy above, casting stark shadows among the trees. The smell of rotting leaves, rich dark soil and a faint hint of night blooming cerberus fills my nostrils. It's intoxicating. I am not alone. My companion is with me, as always amused at the way I revel in just being. At an unspoken signal the dark one and I are suddenly running. We peel off our clothing as we dodge the trees, dropping them wherever they fall. The night scents intensify as we find ourselves running on all fours. Such exhilaration! Naked we run, my paws digging into the rich loamy earth, throwing up a wake of soil behind me. Suddenly I catch a scent. Musky, almost like a bitch in heat, but subtly different. This smell is food, not sex. Still at top speed, I turn to zero in on our prey. It's a huge stag. I'll have to watch out for his antlers. He knows I'm coming and bounds away, but he can't escape. I am alone now; my companion is nowhere to be seen, gone to flank our prey. I can smell him. I know he'll appear at just the right time. Dodging around trees, over fallen logs and streams, the stag leads me a grand chase. My blood is pounding in my ears. The scent of my prey fills my nose. I'm salivating so hard the fur on my chest is soaked. Suddenly the stag makes a mistake, bounds right when he should have gone left. I leap and seize him by the throat, my momentum swinging me under his neck as my companion appears between two trees. He lunges for the stag's hindquarters. Like a missile he smashes into our prey, throwing the beast to the ground. Before the stag can react, I tear out his throat with my sharp fangs. The stag twitches twice before dying. We drink deep of our prey, the hot blood running down our throats. We howl in celebration and eat our fill. Later, I lie, sated and curled up with my companion. A stray thought of work and clients wafts through my head. I scratch it away like a flea. Think about that tomorrow. ------------ Copyright 2004 J.L. Zaugg Nonexclusive license granted to Harmony Tribe to use on their web site and/or publications as long as it is attributed and unedited and this copyright notice is included. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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